From Joe Miller’s Jest Book, which is a pirated but exact version of The Jest Book, selected and arranged by Mark Lemon, except for some Americanized spellings; New York : Hurst & Co., no date; pp. 65-86.
( Jests 300-399. )
A NOBLE lord, not over courageous, was once so far 66 engaged in an affair of honor, as to be drawn to Hyde Park to fight a duel. But just as he arrived at the Porter’s Lodge, an empty hearse came by; on which his lordship’s antagonist called out to the driver, “Stop here, my good fellow, a few minutes, and I’ll send you a fare.” This operated so strongly on his lordship’s nerves, that he begged his opponent’s pardon, and returned home in a whole skin.
“I CAN’T conceive,” said one nobleman to another, “how it is that you manage. Though your estate is less than mine, I could not afford to live at the rate you do.” — “My lord,” said the other, “I have a place.” — “A place? you amaze me, I never heard of it till now, — pray what place ?” — “I am my own steward.”
THEOPHILUS CIBBER, who was very extravagant, one day asked his father for a hundred pounds. “Zounds, sir,” said Colly, “can’t you live upon your salary ? When I was your age, I never spent a farthing of my father’s money.” — “But you have spent a great deal of my father’s,” replied Theophilus. This retort had the desired effect.
A PERSON was boasting that he had never spoken the truth. “Then,” added another, “you have now done it for the first time.”
A LADY asked a very silly Scotch nobleman, how it happened that the Scots who came out of their own country were, generally speaking, men of more abilities than those who remained at home. “O madam,” said he, “the reason is obvious. At every outlet there are persons stationed to examine all who pass, that, for the honor of the country, no one be permitted to leave it who is not a man of understanding.” — “Then,” said she, “I suppose your lordship was smuggled.”
67THE attachment of some ladies to their lap-dogs amounts, in some instances, to infatuation. An ill-tempered lap-dog biting a piece out of a male visitor’s leg, his mistress thus expressed her compassion: “Poor little dear creature ! I hope it will not make him sick !”
AN alderman of London once requested an author to write a speech for him to speak at Guildhall. “I must first dine with you,” replied he, “and see how you open your mouth, that I may know what sort of words will fit it.”
WHIG and Tory scratch and bite,
Just as hungry dogs we see ;
Toss a bone ’twixt two, they fight;
Throw a couple, they agree.
A PERSON was complimenting Mrs. —— on her acting a certain female character so well. “To do justice to that character,” replied the lady, modestly, “one should be young and handsome.” — “Nay, madam,” replied the gentleman, “you are a complete proof of the contrary.”
WHEN Mr. Canning was about giving up Gloucester Lodge, Brompton, he said to his gardener, as he took a farewell look at the grounds, “I am sorry, Fraser, to leave this old place.” — “Psha, sir,” said George, “don’t fret; when you had this old place, you were out of place; now you are in place, you can get both yourself and me a better place.” The hint was taken, and old George provided for.
A GENTLEMAN, who did not live very happily with his 68 wife, on the maid telling him that she was about to give her mistress warning, as she kept scolding her from morning till night. “Happy girl !” said the master, “I wish I could give warning too.”
A COMMON-COUNCILMAN’S lady paying her daughter a visit at school, and inquiring what progress she had made in her education, the governess answered, “pretty good, madam, she is very attentive : if she wants anything it is a capacity : but for that deficiency you know we must not blame her.” — “No madam,” replied the mother, “but I blame you for not having mentioned it before. Her father can afford his daughter a capacity; and I beg she may have one immediately, cost what it may.”
IN a cause respecting a will, evidence was given to prove the testatrix, an apothecary’s widow, a lunatic; amongst other things, it was deposed that she had swept a quantity of pots, lotions, potions, &c., into the street as rubbish. “I doubt,” said the learned judge, “whether sweeping physic into the street be any proof of insanity.” — “True, my lord,” replied the counsel, “but sweeping the pots away, certainly was.”
LORD STANLEY came plainly dressed to request a private audience of King James I., but was refused admittance into the royal closet by a sprucely-dressed countryman of the king’s. James hearing the altercation between the two, came out and inquired the cause. “My liege,” said Lord Stanley, “this gay countryman of yours has refused me admittance to your presence.” — “Cousin,” said the king, “how shall I punish him ? Shall I send him to the Tower ?” — “O no, my liege,” replied Lord Stanley, “inflict a severer punishment, — send him back to Scotland ! ”
LORD WILLOUGHBY de BROKE was a very singular character, 69 and had more peculiarities than any nobleman of his day. Coming once out of the House of Peers, and not seeing his servant among those who were waiting at the door, he called out in a very loud voice, “Where can my fellow be ? ” — “Not in Europe, my lord,” said Anthony Henley, who happened to be near him, “not in Europe.”
ONE of Cromwell’s granddaughters was remarkable for her vivacity and humor. One summer, being in company at Tunbridge Wells, a gentleman having taken great offence at some sarcastic observation she made, intending to insult her, said, “You need not give yourself such airs, madam; you know your grandfather was hanged.” — To which she instantly replied, “But not till he was dead.”
AT a grand review by George III. of the Portsmouth fleet in 1789, there was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility as to surprise every spectator. The king particularly noticed it, and said to Lord Lothian, “Lothian, I have heard much of your agility; let us see you run up after that boy.” — “Sire,” replied Lord Lothian, “it is my duty to follow your Majesty.”
SHERIDAN inquiring of his son what side of politics he should espouse on his inauguration to St. Stephen’s, the son replied, that he intended to vote for those who offered best, and that he would wear on his forehead a label, “To let.” — “I suppose, Tom, you mean to add, unfurnished,” rejoined the father.
LORD B——,who sported a ferocious pair of whiskers, meeting Mr. O’Connell in Dublin, the latter said, “When do you mean to place your whiskers on the peace establishment? ” — “When you place your tongue on the civil list! ” was the rejoinder.
70A MATHEMATICIAN being asked by a wag, “If a pig weighs 200 pounds, how much will a great boar (bore ? ) weigh ?” he replied, “Jump into the scales, and I will tell you immediately.”
AN Irishman being asked which was oldest, he or his brother, “I am eldest,” said he, “but if my brother lives three years longer, we shall be both of an age.”
A GENTLEMAN describing a person who often visited him for the sole purpose of having a long gossip, called him Mr. Jones the stay -maker.
THERE is a celebrated reply of Mr. Curran to a remark of Lord Clare, who curtly exclaimed at one of his legal positions, “O ! if that be law, Mr. Curran, I may burn my law-books !” — “Better read them, my lord,” was the sarcastic and appropriate rejoinder.
“THE mortality among Byron’s mistresses,” said the late Lady A—ll, “is really alarming. I think he generally buries, in verse, a first love every fortnight,” — “Madam,” replied Curran, “mistresses are not so mortal. The fact is, my lord weeps for the press, and wipes his eyes with the public.”
IT was observed of an old citizen that he was the most regular man in London in his attendance at church, and no man in the kingdom was more punctual in his prayers. “He has a very good reason for it,” replied John Wilkes, “for, as he never gave a shilling, did a kindness, or conferred a favor on any man living, no one would pray for him.”
71BISHOP WARBURTON going to Cirencester to confirm, he was supplied at the altar with an elbow-chair and a cushion, which he did not much like, and calling to the churchwarden said, “I suppose, sir, your fattest butcher has sat in this chair, and your most violent Methodist preacher thumped the cushion.”
LORD BYRON’S valet (Mr. Fletcher) grievously excited his master’s ire by observing, while Byron was examining the remains of Athens, “La me, my lord, what capital mantelpieces that marble would make in England !”
IN King William’s time a Mr. Tredenham was taken before the Earl of Nottingham on suspicion of having treasonable papers in his possession. “I am only a poet,” said the captive, “and those papers are my roughly-sketched play.” The Earl examined the papers, however, and then returned them, saying, “I have heard your statement and read your play, and as I can find no trace of a plot in either, you may go free.”
DR. JOHNSON was observed by a musical friend of his to be extremely inattentive at a concert, whilst a celebrated solo player was running up the divisions and sub-divisions of notes upon his violin. His friend, to induce him to take greater notice of what was going on, told him how extremely difficult it was. “Difficult, do you call it, sir ?” replied the doctor; “I wish it were impossible.”
NATURE descends down to infinite smallness. Mr. Canning has his parasites; and if you take a large buzzing blue-bottle fly, and look at in a microscope, you may see twenty or thirty little ugly insects crawling about it, 72 which doubtless think their fly to be the bluest, grandest, merriest, most important animal in the universe, and are convinced that the world would be at an end if it ceased to buzz. — S. S. [Sydney Smith.]
A CERTAIN physician was so fond of administering medicine, that, seeing all the phials and pill-boxes of his patient completely emptied, and ranged in order on the table, he said, “Ah, sir, it gives me pleasure to attend you, — you deserve to be ill.”
BY one decisive argument
Tom gained his lovely Kate’s consent,
To fix the bridal day.
“Why in such haste, dear Tom, to wed ?
I shall not change my mind,” she said.
“But then,” says he, “I may.”
“NATURE has written ‘honest man’ on his face,” said a friend to Jerrold, speaking of a person in whom Jerrold’s faith was not altogether blind. “Humph !” Jerrold replied, “then the pen must have been a very bad one.”
ONE of old Mr. Sheridan’s favorite characters was Cato : and on its revival at Covent Garden Theatre, a Mr. Wignell assumed his old-established part of Portius7nbsp;; and having stepped forward with a prodigious though accustomed strut, began : —
“ The dawn is overcast; the morning lowers,
And heavily, in clouds, brings on the day. ”
The audience upon this began to vociferate “Prologue ! prologue ! prologue !” when Wignell, finding them resolute, without betraying any emotion, pause, or change in his voice and manner, proceeded as if it were a part of the play : —
73“ Ladies and gentlemen, there has been no
Prologue spoken to this day these twenty years —
The great, the important day, big with the fate
Of Cato and of Rome. ”
This wonderful effusion put the audience in good humor : they laughed immoderately, clapped, and shouted “Bravo! ” and Wignell still continued with his usual composure and stateliness.
A NOTORIOUS egotist, indirectly praising himself for a number of good qualities which it was well known he had not, asked Macklin the reason why he should have this propensity of interfering in the good of others when he frequently met with very unsuitable returns. “The cause is plain enough,” said Macklin; “impudence, — nothing but stark-staring impudence !”
A COXCOMB, teasing Dr. Parr with an account of his petty ailments, complained that he could never go out without catching cold in his head. “No wonder,” returned the doctor; “you always go out without anything in it.”
THE grass-plots in the college courts or quadrangles are not for the unhallowed feet of the under-graduates. Some, however, are hardy enough to venture, in despite of all remonstrance. A master of Trinity had often observed a student of his college invariably to cross the green, when, in obedience to the calls of his appetite, he went to hall to dine. One day the master determined to reprove the delinquent for invading the rights of his superiors, and for that purpose he threw up the sash at which he was sitting, and called to the student, — “Sir, I never look out of my window but I see you walking across the grass-plot.” — “My lord,” replied the offender instantly, “I never walk across the grass-plot, but I see you looking out of your window.” The master, pleased at the readiness of the reply, closed his window, convulsed with laughter.
74LORD PETERBOROUGH was once taken by the mob for the great Duke of Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them); and being about to be roughly treated, said, — “Gentlemen, I can convince you by two reasons that I am not the Duke of Marlborough. In the first place, I have only five guineas in my pocket; and in the second, they are heartily at your service.” He got out of their hands with loud huzzas and acclamations.
IN merry Old England it once was the rule,
The king had his poet and also his fool ;
But now we ’re so frugal, I’d have you to know it,
That Cibber can serve both for fool and for poet.
CHARLES MATHEWS, the elder, being asked what he was going to do with his son (the young man’s profession was to be that of an architect), “Why,” answered the comedian, “he is going to draw houses, like his father.”
DR. ROBERT LONG, the celebrated astronomer, was walking, one dark evening, with a gentleman in Cambridge, when the latter came to a short post fixed in the pavement, but which, in the earnestness of conversation, taking to be a boy standing in the path, he said hastily, “Get out of the way, boy.” — “That boy,” said the doctor, very seriously, “is a post-boy, who never turns out of the way for anybody.”
A YOUNG lady visiting in the family asked John at dinner for a potato. John made no response. The request was repeated; when John, putting his mouth to her ear, said, very audibly, “There’s jist twa in the dish, and they maun be keepit for the strangers.”
75THE following dialogue was lately heard at an assize: — Counsel : “What was the height of the horse ?” Witness : “Sixteen feet.” Counsel : “How old was he ?” Witness : “Six years.” Counsel : “How high did you say he was ? Witness : “Sixteen hands.” Counsel : “You just said just now sixteen feet.” Witness : “Sixteen feet ! Did I say sixteen feet ? ” Counsel : “You did.” Witness : “If I did say sixteen feet, it was sixteen feet ! — you don’t catch me crossing myself !”
DETERMINED beforehand, we gravely pretend
To ask the opinion and thoughts of a friend ;
Should his differ from ours on any pretence,
We pity his want both of judgment and sense ;
But if he falls into and flatters our plan,
Why, really we think him a sensible man.
IN the parlor of a public-house in Fleet Street, there used to be written over the chimney-piece the following notice : “Gentlemen learning to spell are requested to use yesterday’s paper.”
A PLAYER applied to a manager of a respectable company for an engagement for himself and his wife, stating that his lady was capable of playing all the first line of business; but as for himself he was “the worst actor in the world.” They were engaged, and the lady answered the character which he had given of her. The gentleman having the part of a mere walking gentleman sent him for his first appearance, he asked the manager, indignantly, how he could put him in such a paltry part. “Sir,” answered the other, “here is your own letter, stating that you were the worst actor in the world.” — “True,” replied the other, “but then I had not seen you.”
76SOME one had written upon a pane in the window of an inn on the Chester road, “Lord M——ms has the softest lips in the universe. — PHILLIS.” Mrs. Abingdon saw this inscription, and wrote under it, —
“Then as like as two chips
Are his head and his lips. — AMARYLLIS.”
CAMBRIDGE etiquette has been very happily caricatured by the following anecdote. A gownsman, one day walking along the banks of the Cam, observing a luckless son of his Alma Mater in the agonies of drowning, “What a pity,” he exclaimed, “that I have not had the honor of being introduced to the gentleman; I might have saved him;” and walked on, leaving the poor fellow to his fate.
( On interminable harangues. )
YE fates that hold the vital shear,
If ye be troubled with remorse,
And will not cut ———’s thread of life,
Cut then the thread of his discourse.
A HORSEMAN crossing a moor, asked a countryman, if it was safe riding. “Ay,” answered the countryman, “it is hard enough at the bottom, I’ll warrant you;” but in half-a-dozen steps the horse sunk up to the girths. “You story-telling rascal, you said it was hard at the bottom !” — “Ay,” replied the other, “But you are not half-way to the bottom yet.”
“ —— ,” said one of his eulogists, “always knows his own mind.” We will cede the point, for it amounts to an admission that he knows nothing.
77WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared at Covent Garden, “Why,” said Charles, “he may be Robin Hood this season, but he will be robbing Harris (the manager) the next.”
AN officer, in battle, happening to bow, a cannon-ball passed over his head, and took off that of the soldier who stood behind him. “You see,” said he, “that a man never loses by politeness.”
“NEVER be critical upon the ladies,” was the maxim of an old Irish peer, remarkable for his homage to the sex; “the only way in the world that a true gentleman ever will attempt to look at the faults of a pretty woman, is to shut his eyes.”
A LADY who went to consult Mr. Abernethy, began describing her complaint, which is what he very much disliked. Among other things she said, “Whenever I lift my arm, it pains me exceedingly.” — “Why then, ma’am,” answered Mr. A., “you are a great fool for doing so.”
A CLEVER literary friend of Jerrold, and one who could take a joke, told him he had just had “some calf’s-tail soup.” — “Extremes meet sometimes,” said Jerrold.
78A PERSON who dined in company with Dr. Johnson endeavored to make his court to him by laughing immoderately at everything he said. The doctor bore it for some time with philosophical indifference; but the impertinent ha, ha, ha ! becoming intolerable, “Pray, sir,” said the doctor, “what is the matter ? I hope I have not said anything that you can comprehend.”
GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to Garrick, “They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you to write an address to the Birmingham audience.” “Suppose, then,” said Garrick, without the least hesitation, “I begin thus : —
Ye sons of iron, copper, brass, and steel
Who have not heads to think, nor hearts to feel —”
“Oh !” cried his lordship, “if you begin thus, they will hiss the players off the stage and pull the house down.” — “My lord,” said Garrick, “what is the use of an address if it does not come home to the business and bosoms of the audience ?”
A GENTLEMAN, talking with his gardener, expressed his admiration at the rapid growth of the trees. “Why, yes, sir,” says the man; “please to consider that they have nothing else to do.”
FRANKLIN, when ambassador to France, being at a meeting of a literary society, and not well understanding the French when declaimed, determined to applaud when he saw a lady of his acquaintance express satisfaction. When they had ceased, a little child, who understood the French, said to him, “But, grandpapa, you always applauded the loudest when they were praising you ! ” Franklin laughed heartily and explained the matter.
79THE toilette of a woman is an altar erected by self-love to vanity.
I NEVER was ruined but twice,” said a wit; “once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one.”
A COUNTRY schoolmaster was met by a certain nobleman, who asked his name and vocation. Having declared his name, he added, “And I am master of this parish.” — “Master of this parish,” observed the peer, “how can that be ?” — “I am the master of the children of the parish,” said the man; “the children are masters of their mothers, the mothers are rulers of the fathers, and consequently I am master of the whole parish.”
SIR WALTER SCOTT once stated that he kept a lowland laird waiting for him in the library at Abbotsford, and that when he came in he found the laird deep in a book which Sir Walter perceived to be Johnson’s Dictionary. “Well, Mr. ——,” said Sir Walter, “how do you like your book ?” — “They’re vera pretty stories, Sir Walter,” replied the laird; “but they ’re unco’ short.”
FOOTE one evening announced, for representation at the Haymarket Theatre, “The Fair Penitent,” to be performed, for that night only, by a black lady of great accomplishments.
80HORNE TOOKE, being asked by George III. whether he played at cards, replied, “I cannot, your Majesty, tell a king from a knave.”
LORD ELLENBOROUGH, on his return from Hone’s trial, suddenly stopped his carriage at Charing Cross, and said, “It occurs to me that they sell the best herrings in London at that shop. Buy six.”
A BAKER has invented a new kind of yeast. It makes bread so light that a pound of it weighs only twelve ounces.
THE late Judge C —— one day had occasion to examine a witness who stuttered very much in delivering his testimony. “I believe,” said his lordship, “you are a very great rogue.” — “not so great a rogue as you my lord, — t-t-t-take me to be.”
AS Romeo, Kean, with awkward grace,
On velvet rests, ’t is said ;
Ah ! did he seek a softer place,
He’d rest upon his head.
CURRAN, when opposed to Lord Clare, said that he reminded him of a chimney-sweep, who had raised himself by dark and dusky ways, and then called aloud to his neighbors to witness his dirty elevation.
A QUAKER being asked his opinion of phrenology, replied indignantly, “Friend, there can be no good in a science that compels a man to take off his hat !”
81IN a valedictory address an editor wrote : “If we have offended any man in the short but brilliant course of our public career, let him send us a new hat, and we will then forget the past.” A cool chap that!
FOOTE, from his earthly stage, alas ! is hurled,
Death took him off, who took off all the world.
“MOTHER, this book tells about the angry waves of the ocean. Now, what makes the ocean get angry ?” — “Because it has been crossed so often, my son.”
DR. ABERNETHY, the celebrated physician, was never more displeased than by hearing a patient detail a long account of troubles. A woman, knowing Abernethy’s love of the laconic, having burned her hand, called at his house. Showing him her hand, she said, “A burn.” — “A poultice,” quietly answered the learned doctor. The next day she returned, and said, “Better.” — “Continue the poultice,” replied Dr. A. In a week she made her last call, and her speech was lengthened to three words, “Well, — your fee ?” — “Nothing,” said the physician; “you are the most sensible woman I ever saw.”
IF L — d — d — y has a grain of sense,
He can be only half a lord ’t is clear ;
For from the fact we draw the inference,
He’s that which never had been made a peer.
A QUAKER said to a gunner, “Friend, I counsel no bloodshed; but if it be thy design to hit the little man in the blue jacket, point thine engine three inches lower.”
82AT the last rehearsal of “Joanna,” Mr. Wild, the prompter, asked the author for an order to admit two friends to the boxes; and whether Mr. Cumberland was thinking of the probable proceeds of his play, or whether his anxiety otherwise bewildered him, cannot be ascertained; but he wrote, instead of the usual “two to the boxes” — “admit two pounds two.”
HIS hair so black, — his beard so gray,
’T is strange ! But would you know the cause ?
’T is that his labors always lay,
Less on his brain that on his jaws.
A WIDOWER, having taken another wife, was, nevertheless, always paying some panegyric to the memory of his late spouse, in the presence of his present one; who one day added, with great feeling, “Believe me, my dear, nobody regrets her loss more than I do.”
A YOUNG man having preached for the doctor one day, was anxious to get a word of applause for his labor of love. The grave doctor, however, did not introduce the subject, and his younger brother was obliged to bait the hook for him. “I hope, sir, I did not weary your people by the length of my sermon to-day ?” — “No, sir, not at all; nor by the depth either !” The young man was silent.
AN Irishman being asked on a late trial for a certificate of his marriage, exhibited a huge scar on his head, which looked as though it might have been made with a fire-shovel. The evidence was satisfactory.
THE great scholar had a horror of the east wind; and 83 Tom Sheridan once kept him prisoner in the house for a fortnight by fixing the weathercock in that direction.
WE every-day bards may “Anonymous” sign :
That refuge, Miss Edgeworth, can never be thine :
Thy writings, where satire and moral unite,
Must bring forth the name of their author to light.
Good and bad join in telling the source of their birth,
The bad own their Edge and the good own their worth.
A RETIRED vocalist, who had acquired a large fortune by marriage, was asked to sing in company. “Allow me,” said he, “to imitate the nightingale, which does not sing after it has made its nest.”
IN the House of Commons, the grand characteristic of the office of the Speaker is silence; and he fills the place best who best holds his tongue. There are other speakers in the House (not official) who would show their sagacity by following the example of their President.
A PHYSICIAN passing by a stone-mason’s shop bawled out, “Good morning, Mr. D. ! Hard at work, I see. You finish your gravestones as far as ‘In the memory of,” and then wait, I suppose, to see who wants a monument next ?” — “Why, yes,” replied the old man, “unless somebody’s sick, and you are doctoring him; then I keep right on.”
CHARLES II. playing at tennis with a dean, who struck the ball well, the king said, “That’s a good stroke for a dean.” — “I ’ll give it the stroke of a bishop if your Majesty pleases,” was the suggestive rejoinder.
TO such a height had arrived the custom of giving vails, or visiting-fees, to servants, in 1762, that Jonas Hanway published upon the subject eight letters to the Duke of N——, supposed to be the Duke of Newcastle. Sir Thomas Waldo related to Hanway, that, on leaving the house of the Duke alluded to, after having feed a train of other servants, he (Sir Thomas) put a crown into the hand of the cook, who returned it, saying, “Sir, I do not take silver.” — “Don’t you, indeed !” said the baronet, putting it into his pocket; “then I do.”
AVARICE is criminal poverty.
“I ’M very glad,” to E—b—h said
His brother exquisite, Macassar Draper,
“That ’t is the outer product of your head,
And not the inner, you commit to paper!”
A SCHOLAR and a courtier meeting in the street, seemed to contest the wall. Says the courtier, “I do not use to give every coxcomb the wall.” The scholar answered, “But I do, sir; ” and so passed by him.
AN old deaf beggar, whom Collins the painter was once engaged in sketching at Hendon, exhibited great self-possession. Finding, from certain indications, that the body and garments of this English Edie Ochiltree afforded 86 a sort of pasture-ground to a herd of many animals of minute size, he hinted his fears to the old man that he might leave some of his small body-guard, behind him. “No fear, sir; no fear,” replied this deaf and venerable vagrant, contemplating the artist with serious serenity; “I don’t think they are any of them likely to leave me for you.”
A PHYSICIAN of an acrimonious disposition, and having a thorough hatred of lawyers, reproached a barrister with the use of phrases utterly unintelligible. “For example,” said he, “I never could understand what you lawyers mean by docking an entail.” — “That is very likely,” answered the lawyer, “but I will explain it to you : it is doing what you doctors never consent to, — suffering a recovery.”
A RECRUITING serjeant addressing an honest country bumpkin with, — “Come, my lad, thou ’lt fight for thy King, won’t thou ?” — “Voight for my King,” answered Hodge, “why has he fawn out wi’ ony body ?”
E—D—N was asked by one of note,
Why merit he did not promote;
“For this good reason,” answered he,
“ ’Cause merit ne’er promoted me.”