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From The World’s Wit and Humor, Vol. XIV, Russian, Scandinavian, and Miscellaneous Wit and Humor; The Review of Reviews Company; New York; 1906; pp. 3-46.


1

Nikolai Nekrasov [1821-1877]


A Moral Man


A STRICTLY moral man have I been ever,
And never injured anybody — never,
I lent my friend a sum he could not pay;
I jogged his memory in a friendly way,
Then took the law of him th’ affair to end;
The law to prison sent my worthy friend.
He died there — not a farthing for poor me!
I am not angry, though I’ve cause to be;
His debt that very moment I forgave,
And shed sad tears of sorrow o’er his grave.
A strictly moral man have I been ever,
And never injured anybody — never.


I sent a serf of mine to learn the dressing
Of meat. He learned it — a good cook’s a blessing —
But strangely did neglect his occupation,
And gained a taste not suited to his station;
He liked to read, to reason, to discuss.
I, tired of scolding, without further fuss
Had the rogue flogged — all for the love of him.
He went and drowned himself — what a strange whim!
A strictly moral man have I been ever,
And never injured anybody — never.


My silly daughter fell in love, one day,
And with a tutor wished to run away.
72 I threatened curses, and pronounced my ban;
She yielded, and espoused a rich old man.
Their house was splendid, brimming o’er with wealth,
But suddenly the poor child lost her health,
And in a year consumption wrought her doom;
She left us mourning o’er her early tomb.
A strictly moral man have I been ever,
And never injured anybody — never.






The Soldier


THEN up there comes a veteran,
     With medals on his breast;
He scarcely lives, but yet he strives
     To drink with all the rest.
“A lucky man am I!” he cries
And thus to prove the fact he tries:
“In what consists a soldier’s luck?
     Pray, listen while I tell:
In twenty fights or more I’ve been,
     And yet I never fell;
And, what is more, in peaceful times
     Full health I never knew.
Yet, all the same, I have contrived
     Not to give Death his due.
Also, for sins both great and small,
     Full many a time they’ve me
With sticks unmercifully flogged;
     Yet I’m alive, you see!”


— “Who Lives Happily in Russia?







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